The Most Difficult Question I Have Tried to Ask Myself — What Are My Passions These Days?

This would seem to be a simple enough question for someone to answer but for me, it isn’t. I suppose I could say technology is my passion, though really it’s more my vocation as there’s certainly a lot about the use of technology I don’t agree with. For a time photography was my passion, but that died off during my divorce. Hunting and marksmanship are gradually becoming a strong activity for me to focus and gain a bit of stress relief from but I’m not quite sure I’d call it my passion.

In some ways I’d like to think that ‘growth’ is my passion. For several years I felt like I was effectively stuck, going nowhere fast. An unpleasant divorce certainly punctuated that sensation. Two years post-divorce and I find myself trying to grow as a person and be better than the man I was. I’ve practiced target shooting, I’ve tried baking, I’ve tried to blog about the not-so-fun topic of mental health. I think for most folks growth might seem too vague a thing to call one’s passion but I think for anyone who feels trapped by depression, anxiety or any mental illness change of any kind can be tremendous.

So here I am today getting ready to do some competitive shooting for the first time. Being around guns is scary enough for most folks, being around other season shooters is intimidating for me to say the least. I haven’t drawn a weapon from a holster since I was in my teens but I’m trying to push myself to get out there, interact with people. Even if I fail utterly, I’m hoping this will serve as a learning experience and I can study other good shooters to improve myself, even if just a bit. If you’re struggling to find something to latch onto, I understand completely. It was a lot of trial and error and certainly a lot of going outside my comfort zone to find something that actually made me ‘feel’ anything. Start slow, it won’t happen overnight but gradual steps can help you find something that’s you or something that can help you become a different you.