Self Care — No One Size Fits All

One of the most difficult things to deal with surrounding depression and anxiety is a sense of self care. For me my process began with trying to improve my diet, my personal grooming and finding activities that I could focus on without doing things like foraging while I did so.

YouTuber Anna Akana posted a recent vlog focused on her own  self-care approach and made some very good points.

Self-care means different things to everyone. For some people it’s confronting fears head on, for others it’s finding alternative ways to cope or fortify yourself mental health-wise. One of her points that struck a chord with me in particular was knowing when to pass on a social outing. I’m generally not a social butterfly so some of the typical ‘hanging out’ options that most folks think nothing of don’t appeal to me. That’s not to say that I don’t interact with friends and socialize, it’s just usually a more specific ‘thing’ that we’re going out to do. Meals, movies etc with a focus is usually how I engage with friends.  For people struggling with anxiety however the act of going out in a crowd and with friends can sometimes be more stress inducing than relaxing. I think on some levels it’s hard to describe to friends that smaller-interaction is easier.

Good habits however should never be excluded from self care. Exercise, diet, hygiene should always be a component of your regimen. It won’t always be easy to identify what should or shouldn’t be in your self-care plan but make that effort, try things. Take the time to see what works for you, what you can sink your teeth in that has positive benefits and work on it.

Valentine’s Day – My Least Favorite Day as a Divorcé

Not going to sugar coat this one, Valentine’s as a divorced guy is not my favorite time of year. Add to that my allergy to chocolate and well Feb 15th isn’t exactly something to look forward to either.

I think for a lot of folks there’s a difficulty in understanding what those suffering from anxiety and depression go through during holidays meant to celebrate togetherness. One thing keeps popping back up into my mind which is that love is something that you need to have for yourself in order to be able to share it. It sounds horribly cliche but I understand the concept. I’m not there to be honest and that’s tempered how I view relationships and the future quite a bit. Still, I look at Valentine’s as a time to look at who I am, where I’ve come and where I still need to improve and try to be happy with the me that I see in the mirror.

Happened upon this little ‘tips’ post from Anxiety.org which might be an interesting read for some.
https://www.anxiety.org/relationship-guide-getting-through-valentines-day

If you’re having a hard time this Valentine’s, coming off a break up, there’s also this very pointed vlog from Anna Akana about dealing with breakups. Despite my divorce being nearly two years old now, I still found her post to be a good remind of the things you need to do to process things.

No matter what situation you are in relationship wise, if you’re dealing with any form of mental illness and find this particular holiday season difficult, reach out, get in touch with people in your support network or even other mental health communities. Take that step to communicate about what you’re dealing. Stay safe folks.

Language Use and Depression

https://theconversation.com/people-with-depression-use-language-differently-heres-how-to-spot-it-90877

This was one of the more intriguing articles I came across recently. The idea that the use of language can be an indicator of depression is both compelling and worth self-reflection in my case.

My college background included bits of linguistics, neuroscience and computer programming, a weird focus yes but I’ve found some of what I learned has helped me to understand my own depression a bit more. Personal pronoun use certainly became something I found myself slipping into much more as my depression worsened. Isolation I think does that to you though, you interact so little and have such limited common ground that the only thing you have a frame of reference for is yourself. I don’t know that I necessarily agree with the idea that it’s strictly a self-focused symptom but I can see how it may manifest.

The more markers of depression we understand, the more we learn to catch ourselves and take action the better. I just worry that as we uncover what seem to be associations with patterns of behavior or linguistic signposts that we start to see depression everywhere, even when it may not necessarily be an accurate diagnosis. So take articles like the above with a grain of salt, but don’t be afraid to ask the question, “Are you doing ok?” of your friends, or yourself.