Valentine’s Day – My Least Favorite Day as a Divorcé

Not going to sugar coat this one, Valentine’s as a divorced guy is not my favorite time of year. Add to that my allergy to chocolate and well Feb 15th isn’t exactly something to look forward to either.

I think for a lot of folks there’s a difficulty in understanding what those suffering from anxiety and depression go through during holidays meant to celebrate togetherness. One thing keeps popping back up into my mind which is that love is something that you need to have for yourself in order to be able to share it. It sounds horribly cliche but I understand the concept. I’m not there to be honest and that’s tempered how I view relationships and the future quite a bit. Still, I look at Valentine’s as a time to look at who I am, where I’ve come and where I still need to improve and try to be happy with the me that I see in the mirror.

Happened upon this little ‘tips’ post from which might be an interesting read for some.

If you’re having a hard time this Valentine’s, coming off a break up, there’s also this very pointed vlog from Anna Akana about dealing with breakups. Despite my divorce being nearly two years old now, I still found her post to be a good remind of the things you need to do to process things.

No matter what situation you are in relationship wise, if you’re dealing with any form of mental illness and find this particular holiday season difficult, reach out, get in touch with people in your support network or even other mental health communities. Take that step to communicate about what you’re dealing. Stay safe folks.

Language Use and Depression

This was one of the more intriguing articles I came across recently. The idea that the use of language can be an indicator of depression is both compelling and worth self-reflection in my case.

My college background included bits of linguistics, neuroscience and computer programming, a weird focus yes but I’ve found some of what I learned has helped me to understand my own depression a bit more. Personal pronoun use certainly became something I found myself slipping into much more as my depression worsened. Isolation I think does that to you though, you interact so little and have such limited common ground that the only thing you have a frame of reference for is yourself. I don’t know that I necessarily agree with the idea that it’s strictly a self-focused symptom but I can see how it may manifest.

The more markers of depression we understand, the more we learn to catch ourselves and take action the better. I just worry that as we uncover what seem to be associations with patterns of behavior or linguistic signposts that we start to see depression everywhere, even when it may not necessarily be an accurate diagnosis. So take articles like the above with a grain of salt, but don’t be afraid to ask the question, “Are you doing ok?” of your friends, or yourself.