One of the things I’ve noticed over my first few years post-depression-diagnosis is that I sense I’ve become harder and harder to converse with. I still maintain conversations with my closest circle of friends, my therapist and coworkers but friends who were more casual friends I feel I’ve taken to become a ‘one-liner’.
It’s an odd feeling, to feel like any attempt to start a conversation is met with sort of a one-line response. Emails, instant messenger apps, all of these mechanisms cease to be conversations and become a one line banter or response often feeling more frustrating than fulfilling. At times I can’t tell if it’s just me, them, or a multitude of factors.
I’d imagine others experience the same type of issue. I often can’t tell if it’s because I’ve become too self-focused when I speak to others which makes the conversation very one sided or it is that people from my circle of friends don’t know how or what to say anymore. I realize that awkward or not I still have to put in the effort to converse but I do worry that it’s a balancing act. I converse just enough to let others know I’m still ‘around’ and OK, but I won’t have many easy-flowing conversations.