Of Dreams and Nightmares

I’ve always been amused at how the subconscious works. Dreams, nightmares they all seem to jumble together and there isn’t always a ready cause for them. If only we knew the source.

I had gone through the whole meditation thing, lucid dreaming and other cognitive practices. Still those sometimes frequent weeks of nothing but nightmares do take their toll. Maybe it’s having to process pain and trauma when my mind is idle or just a looped memory trying to shake its way free. The last few days haven’t been kind to my sleep schedule.

Memories of the past twisted around, made painful aren’t uncommon in my nightmares. I’ve woken up a few times my heart racing, with glimpses of what transpired and all I can do is a Nathan Fillion-esque “huh”. Sometimes I worry that being driven by depression during the day and nightmares at night is a repeating cycle, one I haven’t figured out how to break.