Throughout this blog I’ve usually spoken about dysthymia which is my principle diagnosis. Lately though I have monitored my own mood and worry that perhaps subtle elements of SAD are impacting me more than I’d like to admit.
Generally speaking I’ve never been particular up or down during the holidays. Cooler weather certainly is preferable to me, but this season seems a bit more blue than normal. Perhaps it is due to work stress, or the news and general state of the world. The longer nights certainly haven’t helped me feel productive. Though I still try to get out and enjoy my few hobbies (target shooting, baking) I do feel like my activity level is still too low to really have a positive impact on my overall fitness.
October through April if I’m being honest are the hardest months for me. Beyond SAD those months also represent the process of finding out my then wife was seeking out someone else and our subsequent divorce. As such letting my mind become idle usually results in a few unpleasant flashes of memory. Pushing them aside is never easy but I suppose I’m more used to it and able to disconnect from going down that path quicker than I used it.
I’ve looked into light therapy and try to keep myself surrounded by more positive imagery (pet IG’s, more uplifting shows) I avoid things that are trigger sources (romances, excessive consumption of news, politics). I’m hoping that by this time next year I’m in a better position to move forward but we’ll see. Hopefully some day, the holidays will just be the holidays and not a time for me to be on my guard.
