One of the difficult parts about learning to live with my depression has been the sense that I have to rebuild. Following my divorce one of the most painful statements directed at me was “how could I not know myself <sic> at my age”
Identity isn’t something that’s static, it’s fluid. Our experiences twist, shape and mold who we are in the present. I can’t say my life has been happy, I can’t say it’s been bad either but in some areas it has been painful. Divorce is something I would never wish upon my enemies. It makes you question who you are at every turn, every choice you’ve made, every discussion you’ve had.
On a daily basis I find myself trying to find parts of myself that are still intact and inevitably finding parts that aren’t. I’ve had to make decisions about what parts of my past to break away from and what parts to hold onto tightly. It isn’t easy purging your life, your memories but sometimes you have to get rid of the things that were once you to be able to become a you that survives. Don’t be afraid to wipe the slate clean here and there.
