One of the difficult things about trying to get used to my anxiety and depression is dealing with the holidays. More specifically getting used to a time where everyone expects you to smile, to be jolly. Spent years doing so for my ex-wife, my family. I’m not trying to do so anymore.
These days I will be myself. Oh I’ll be polite and appropriate but I’m tired of trying to fake a smile, trying to meet the expectations of the world. Nobody likes a Grinch but sometimes you have to be honest to yourself rather than trying to please others because ’tis the season’.
My family has never really been big on celebrating the holidays. Maybe it’s because my mother is Vietnamese and for her, the holidays were more about church and a simple family meal than gift giving. For me most of Christmas’ have always been tempered by some kind of tragedy or sadness. With the divorce I have even more reasons to dislike the season. For me I just want to live through Christmas and be allowed to welcome the New Year with my truest face. Whether or not the holidays appeal to you, I do hope that everyone finds what they are looking for and are able to bring in the new year as best as they see fit.
