I’ll be totally honest I hate this time of year. Personal history is one factor, the general seasonal depression is another. Sept marked my wedding anniversary, Oct both when I discovered last year that my marriage failed, November when the choice about divorce was raised and Dec when I moved out and my ex-wife’s birthday.
For me Sept through Dec is a period of the year that I simply wish I could avoid all together but that isn’t an option. Mornings are long and a struggle, nights are a battle with my insomnia and resulting hypersomnia due to fatigue.
I’ve tried to do things to keep myself distracted from self-reflection, walking, cooking, gaming, blogging, but my biggest fear is that even over time, as the pain subsides, as I forget the faces of my ex-wife and friends that it won’t feel any easier. Had one of those shower thoughts. Motivational messages like “Life’s easier when you delete the negative people in your life” are painful for people suffering from clinical depression. Life isn’t easier when you are one of those deleted people.
