I wish i could say that my slight blog absence was because I was doing better, the reality is Halloween is a bit of a difficult trigger for me. My ex-wife loved Halloween and the Christmas holidays and truthfully her will is what really made the holidays real for me.
There was a time when I enjoyed seeing costumes and craftsmanship, I’d enjoy taking a few photos. These days all I want is to be left alone and  allowed to let the day pass without any real need to ‘celebrate’. Coping with my depression I often feel like I’m always wearing a mask, except instead of custom made clothes, make up and fake teeth, my disguise is a false smile and convincing people around me that I’m ‘ok’.
Don’t know that I’ll ever be okay with Halloween or any of the major holidays to be honest. I’ve never enjoyed them save for the company of friends. We’ve commercialized so many holidays that I always feel like the point of them has been lost to the ages. Maybe I’ll try to do something for arbor day.
