I wish I could say that Sept and Oct have been good months for me but the reality is they have been very trying times. Between anniversaries and a season that my ex-wife really enjoyed there are too many memories that I have swimming in my head as of late.
Sept apparently is a rough time on the whole for people suffering from depression; particularly those afflicted by seasonal depression; as the weather shifts, the sun is out less affecting both sleep patterns and temperature. I’ve tried to use the various coping tools at my disposal but I’ll admit it hasn’t been pleasant. After a while everything feels like just a futile attempt at distracting myself from factors I can’t change.
I’m trying to focus on cooking and things that fulfill two needs at once. The need to distract myself from the less positive things going on and keeping myself fed and (hopefully) healthy. Not always succeeding on the former. Still though I know it has to be done and right now ‘has to be done’ seems to trump ‘want to do’. Then again, not difficult when your mind literally ‘wants’ nothing.
