![\"img_0180\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/IMG_0180.jpg?resize=564%2C376\")
<\/p>\nThe weekend is not my favorite time of the week. My motivation to leave the house some days is stifling. I try to counter act my anxiety I’ve often taken to mini-missions. Specific goals or objectives that I have to meet in order drag myself out of the home. Going out for myself, or for the sake of myself isn’t quite there yet but I try to do something a bit more social in little doses.<\/p>\n
Today I found myself trying to brave the crowds of a coffee and chocolate farmers market. To be entirely honest though there was next to no chocolate… Which is fine, I’m allergic anyway. I was reminded how much I dislike crowds and bumping through a mass of bodies. I found a few odds and ends for friends and made my way to Magnolia Cafe situated in Ala Moana, our largest open air mall. \u00a0Eating alone post-divorce is still strange and uncomfortable but I muscle through.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Watching families smile and laugh and admittedly argue is strange. Some times I smirk or smile, as I’ve always tried to maintain a happier face around kids. Other times inside I feel like I’m not here. Like the world is around me and I’m in a little bubble. So I sit, read or blog and try to remind myself that all the noises, sights and sounds are something I have work my way through.<\/p>\n
Asking for a “table for one” still feels painful but I know I have to get used to it. I guess I don’t quite look like I belong here and was asked if I was visiting from the mainland. I jokingly said yes, that I was here from Berkeley. \u00a0A half truth I suppose but a better alternative than “No, I just don’t belong here random stranger”. Still I appreciated someone trying to make casual conversation. Just have to remind myself to switch off the snide side of myself more.<\/p>\n
Between babies crying and the clang of the kitchen I find myself thinking about what it means to be out and about in the world. I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it, but I know it’s something I have to work at. So here’s the meekend, be it ever so humble.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The weekend is not my favorite time of the week. My motivation to leave the house some days is stifling. I try to counter act my anxiety I’ve often taken to mini-missions. Specific goals or objectives that I have to meet in order drag myself out of the home. Going out for myself, or for … Continue reading “The Meekend”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":266,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[13,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog-slice","category-depression"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/IMG_0179-e1476566174812.jpg?fit=1240%2C808","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7PG4O-4f","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/263","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=263"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/263\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":268,"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/263\/revisions\/268"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/266"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=263"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=263"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}