One of the hardest things for me has been how work\/weekends changed. There was a time where I would slog through the work week and was grateful for the quiet that the weekend brought. These days the silence after the M-F grind is equally painful if not more so.<\/p>\n
Time spent with friends still provides some semblance of normalcy but there’s an uneasiness about it at times. It feels like an echo, an afterimage of who I was in the past. I don’t always know which direction I’m going in these days. I do know that the road ahead is a painful one, fraught with challenges. A close friends reminded me that right now I’m in protection mode. I don’t know that I totally agree with her, at times I feel like I’m on the edge of attack mode. Like I’m in a ready state of fight or flight but I’m not about to dash.<\/p>\n
I continue to look for ways to vent and to speak when I need to be heard but it isn’t always easy. Cooking, photography, my blogging they all afford me a release in some ways. Sometimes I wonder if I need to get back to things with my hands, tools, martial arts. Sometimes you have to hurt to survive. I often escape into science fiction and the Netflix series Luke Cage had a good line, “Survival costs”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
One of the hardest things for me has been how work\/weekends changed. There was a time where I would slog through the work week and was grateful for the quiet that the weekend brought. These days the silence after the M-F grind is equally painful if not more so. Time spent with friends still provides … Continue reading “Of Weekends and Survival”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[13,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-242","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog-slice","category-depression"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7PG4O-3U","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/242","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=242"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/242\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":244,"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/242\/revisions\/244"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=242"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=242"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vraxx.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=242"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}